[Boy, he wishes he could reach out and pat Kazuki on the head, or pull him into a hug.]
Hey. Rockstar. It's okay. People fuck up, it's in our nature. I didn't exactly help clear things up either.
I know you guys'll take care of Rosamund and solve this mystery. So I'm okay with dyin' if it means pushin' the rest of ya forward towards findin' a way out.
[ there's frustration in his eyes as he looks back at bradley. ]
We're not finding them fast enough. Even if that research log was right and there is a way to bring back the dead, we don't know what the method is, or if it even really works. Until we figure it out, more people are just going to die and that's - that's not okay.
Yeah. People're gonna die, and that's gonna be hard to deal with.
But I choose to believe in those that'll be alive after tomorrow. I believe in you, and everyone else too. Even if I stay dead, even if everyone stays dead, if you can just get back home then that'll be enough.
[ in a flash of anger, kazuki raises his voice to yell. ]
It's not enough! I don't want to be one of the only ones going home! I'm tired of being one of the only ones who's kept safe while everyone else throws themselves into danger or dies!
[ he quiets, for just a moment, and then: ]
Everyone here deserves to make it home. Every last one of us - whatever that means we have to do.
[ no, don't look at him like that - like he's something to be proud of instead of the helpless kid that he really is. he can't stand that, when it feels like there's not a single thing he can do to make anything here any better. ]
We don't have time to let more people die. I don't know how much longer it'll take, or if it's even possible to fix all this.
[ his expression cracks, betraying the fear that still whispers in the back of his mind, all too familiar from the past year or so. ]
I just don't want it to end like this, but we haven't been able to change anything yet.
Those voices in your head? The one's tellin' you "I don't know" or "I can't change anythin'"? That's your brain tryin' to find the easy way out. Because if you 'can't do anythin' then it's not your fault when things go to shit, or at least that's what your brain's tellin' you.
That's why you gotta shut off your brain and listen to your heart. Your brain doubts, but your heart believes.
It's easy to listen to your brain and just sit there and let your fears control you. It's easy, but it's not the right choice. And the right choice is really hard to make, because it's terrifying! Believin' in a future that might not come to pass, standin' up and sayin' "I will change things" when you don't know if you'll pull it off, it's enough to make even grown men shake in their boots. But if you let your heart guide you, you'll find yourself controllin' your fears rather than lettin' your fears control you.
I believe in you, Kazuki. Let my belief be the first step towards you learnin' to believe in yourself too.
It'll keep you from being paralyzed by your own doubts though. Especially right now, when so much is on the line, you have to be able to make a move when it's presented to you.
I only survived Thursday night because I ran to cover the moment I had a chance. I only survived because I laid a false trail of blood for Nero to follow, when I saw I had the chance. Decisions made in mere seconds are what kept me alive.
[A worried frown creases his brow.]
I just...don't want you to get bogged down in your own thoughts and miss that chance. You're like Nero, you get stuck in your own head too much. I don't wanna see you on that other side too.
If I end up with the rest of you, it's not because I want to. I- I'm just not cut out for things like this.
[ kazuki knows his limits. he knows how badly he handles crisis situations. but even on the safe side, he still isn't doing a great job of handling all this. ]
...It doesn't matter. It's not on me to figure everything out alone. Someone else will put the pieces together, we just need to do it in time to actually be able to help.
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timeasmymeasure
w4 saturday
Date: 2024-03-31 01:40 am (UTC)You said he made the first move?
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Date: 2024-03-31 01:42 am (UTC)Yeah. Pretty much as soon as the 'murder time' began, he turned and stabbed me with that big knife in his hands.
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Date: 2024-03-31 02:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-03-31 02:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-03-31 02:14 am (UTC)...We fucked up. [ voting for anyone is terrible. voting for someone who acted in self-defense is even worse. ] I- I'm sorry, Bain-san.
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Date: 2024-03-31 02:21 am (UTC)Hey. Rockstar. It's okay. People fuck up, it's in our nature. I didn't exactly help clear things up either.
I know you guys'll take care of Rosamund and solve this mystery. So I'm okay with dyin' if it means pushin' the rest of ya forward towards findin' a way out.
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Date: 2024-03-31 02:31 am (UTC)I don't want either of you to die, but... someone shouldn't die for protecting themselves.
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Date: 2024-03-31 02:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-03-31 02:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-03-31 02:39 am (UTC)[...]
Well shit.
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Date: 2024-03-31 02:56 am (UTC)Yeah. I don't think anyone knows what to expect for Rosamund-san now.
[ and he is. very obviously worried about that and just upset about everything! wow! ]
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Date: 2024-03-31 03:10 am (UTC)Hey. Listen to me.
[He's using a calm voice, to try and help Kazuki stay calm.]
All the problems here, they have solutions. It's just a matter of finding 'em.
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Date: 2024-03-31 03:14 am (UTC)We're not finding them fast enough. Even if that research log was right and there is a way to bring back the dead, we don't know what the method is, or if it even really works. Until we figure it out, more people are just going to die and that's - that's not okay.
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Date: 2024-03-31 03:34 am (UTC)But I choose to believe in those that'll be alive after tomorrow. I believe in you, and everyone else too. Even if I stay dead, even if everyone stays dead, if you can just get back home then that'll be enough.
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Date: 2024-03-31 03:38 am (UTC)It's not enough! I don't want to be one of the only ones going home! I'm tired of being one of the only ones who's kept safe while everyone else throws themselves into danger or dies!
[ he quiets, for just a moment, and then: ]
Everyone here deserves to make it home. Every last one of us - whatever that means we have to do.
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Date: 2024-03-31 03:51 am (UTC)Instead, pride shines in his eyes as he speaks.]
Good. Hold onto that feeling, let it keep you strong and focused, and figure out a way to send us all home.
[He's always loved people who struggle against their shitty circumstances.]
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Date: 2024-03-31 04:01 am (UTC)We don't have time to let more people die. I don't know how much longer it'll take, or if it's even possible to fix all this.
[ his expression cracks, betraying the fear that still whispers in the back of his mind, all too familiar from the past year or so. ]
I just don't want it to end like this, but we haven't been able to change anything yet.
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Date: 2024-03-31 04:27 am (UTC)With some effort, Bradley gets up from the cot and walks over to the barrier.]
C'mere.
[He'll hold up a hand to press against the barrier. It's the best he can do for now, but he'll still try.]
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Date: 2024-03-31 04:31 am (UTC)...but he sighs, and steps forward to touch the glass with his hand, too. ]
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Date: 2024-03-31 04:43 am (UTC)That's why you gotta shut off your brain and listen to your heart. Your brain doubts, but your heart believes.
It's easy to listen to your brain and just sit there and let your fears control you. It's easy, but it's not the right choice. And the right choice is really hard to make, because it's terrifying! Believin' in a future that might not come to pass, standin' up and sayin' "I will change things" when you don't know if you'll pull it off, it's enough to make even grown men shake in their boots. But if you let your heart guide you, you'll find yourself controllin' your fears rather than lettin' your fears control you.
I believe in you, Kazuki. Let my belief be the first step towards you learnin' to believe in yourself too.
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Date: 2024-03-31 04:16 pm (UTC)[ shakes his head. ]
Someone will probably find an answer, we just need to hurry up so no one else has to die.
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Date: 2024-03-31 04:20 pm (UTC)[Bradley certainly got all of his scars by following his heart.]
But you'll be in a better place because of it.
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Date: 2024-03-31 04:36 pm (UTC)[ frustrated, he drops his hand back to his side. ]
We're all looking for the answers. But "following our hearts" isn't going to bring anyoen back or stop what's happening.
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Date: 2024-03-31 04:44 pm (UTC)I only survived Thursday night because I ran to cover the moment I had a chance. I only survived because I laid a false trail of blood for Nero to follow, when I saw I had the chance. Decisions made in mere seconds are what kept me alive.
[A worried frown creases his brow.]
I just...don't want you to get bogged down in your own thoughts and miss that chance. You're like Nero, you get stuck in your own head too much. I don't wanna see you on that other side too.
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Date: 2024-03-31 04:53 pm (UTC)[ kazuki knows his limits. he knows how badly he handles crisis situations. but even on the safe side, he still isn't doing a great job of handling all this. ]
...It doesn't matter. It's not on me to figure everything out alone. Someone else will put the pieces together, we just need to do it in time to actually be able to help.
[ before all of them are killed, or something. ]